Denver, CO – There is a question which dates back thousands of years.
It’s been asked on all seven continents and by people of every race and culture. It doesn’t always require verbalization and often a simple universal recognized facial expression is enough to ask it.
In every language the most common answers to the question are. “It Wasn’t Me”, “Sorry”, and “Oh God”. Note: Canadians tend to answer “Sorry, it wasn’t me, eh”
The question is of course “Who Farted?”.
According to a recent Pew poll, 67% of people lie when asked this question, and the problem is just getting worse, especially with the growing popularity of Mexican food.
By 2050, the percentage of those who lie could be as high as 77%.
We expect our politicians to lie, not the flatulators in our life.
So iFart scientists set out to solve this potentially explosive problem.
Finally after two years of development and lots of burning the candle at both ends, they finally achieved a major breakthrough in Fart Detection Technology.
A proprietary algorithm which can pinpoint the direction of the offending flatulator using only the device’s microphone.
Once a fart sound is detected (as faint as 20 micro pascal of pressure) a proximity warning is issued which lets the iFart user move upwind before the stench can strike.
There are 3 proximity warning levels:
Green – A gentle voice saying “Please move to the nearest exit.”
Yellow – The Robot from Lost in Space saying “Danger, Danger – Danger Will Robinson”
Brown – Donald Sutherland’s scream from Invasion of the Body Snatchers
A Brown alert is the most severe and we recommend pointing at the offender so that other people in the area can be alerted. Using the Fart Detection camera mode, the flatulator’s image will be instantly shared on social media channels. A good shaming will help prevent future incidents.
There’s also an optional beacon which can be placed at your location so other iFart users can steer clear of the area for a minimum of 15 minutes.
Another feature currently in development is iFart’s patent pending “Fart Screener”.
Quite simply when you “check in” to any location, the Fart Screener searches all the social media profiles of anyone who is also currently checked into that same location. If that person recently checked into a restaurant with beans, asparagus or other flatulence causing foods on the menu, a “level one” proximity alert will be issued.